Sometimes, when it all just catches up to you,

and it's one of those nights where nothing else is on your mind,

but that one thing you have avoided thinking about,

it all just gets too much.

What matters in life?

Really?

Crying over a break up, in high school?

Crying over bad results?

Crying over an argument, which can easily be fixed over an apology?

Crying over someone else's story?

Crying over the fact that you can't go out & have a good time with your friends?

Crying over a boy?

Crying over a few harsh words?

Crying over distance?

Whatever, my point is,

I'm just so sick of.... crying...

over something to petty,

something so meaningless,

something you wouldn't even be thinking about in a month.

It just doesn't seem fair to me.

To be worrying about all the so called problems you have in life,

when in reality,

someone has it so much worse.

And when you're sitting there, crying, over something that could happen,

someone is living it,

someone is going through what you fear most,

someone is crying too,

but this time,

it's tears that actually mean something, so much more.

I really don't know if I'm making sense to you,

my mind is everywhere and there are so many things I want to say,

partly just to make myself feel better,

as selfish ( and ironic considering this blog post ) as that may sound.

I want to believe that I have it easy.

I want to believe that everything is gonna be just fine,

and that I'm an idiot for even worrying..about myself.

I want to start worrying about the things that matter,

I want to start fighting for the things that matter.

I want to start helping people,

people who genuinely need it.

I want to believe that I'm lucky,

for all the things I've been blessed with in this life.

And I do.

I really do think I'm lucky.

I feel selfish for crying over.. well, to say the least, bullshit.

There are people out there,

doing what they can,

all that they can,

to help other people.

Even quitting their jobs,

volunteering, not earning a single cent,

just because, well, it's the right thing to do.

What you might think is stupid,

is, in their opinion, necessary.

I could give you so many examples,

but I'd like to think whoever is reading this understands what I'm talking about.

I look up to these people.

I think they are the ones that should be recognized for what they're doing.

I think they are the ones that should be considered ' celebrities ' .

I think they are the ones people should look up to.

Because they actually make a difference.

Now,

I'm not going to promise anything,

or harp on how I'm going to give up everything in my life, just like they did,

to make that difference.

No.

I think that's wishful thinking.

I don't think I have that in me, as hard as that is for me to admit.

But what I will say,

is that I'm gonna do what I can.

Start small, you know?

If not now, then someday,

I will, or at least try, to make that difference.

And honestly, that would be enough for me.