What about taking this empty cup and filling it up, with a little bit more of innocence

So, hi guys :)

It's 4 in the morning,

if you read my previous post /

if you know me, just the slightest bit,

you wouldn't be surprised I'm awake & blogging.

I'm just gon' continue from where I left off,

cause I'm still waiting on the pictures from the barbeque :)

But before that,

went out with Kenny after ages today!

It was really good!

I missed that boy.

First thing he tells me when I enter the car is,

" You smell like mutton curry... "

LOL.

( My dad was cooking mutton curry at home,

so he was kinda spot on, on that one )

We were walking to Tutti Fruitti

and I was so freaked out cause of the whole acid man thing,

I told him to walk super fast,

and then I heard a motorbike,

and literally screamed.

I got a mini heart attack man.

......the motorbike was on the other side of the road

( Don't judge )

Okay anyways,

I made up a bear in college

His name is Apollo.

Want to know more about Apollo? ( Trust me, he's a cool little thing )

Just ask me! Or Frosties ( It's all her fault hehehe )

Have I mentioned that I love teddy bears?

I've always wanted a really big one,

like the size of me.

I'm not even kidding, imagine how cool that would be!

It'll be so comfy to hug!

I wouldn't be surprised if it would end up being my remedy for falling asleep on time!

( If I eventually get myself one la haha )

Anyway,

this is gonna be really random,

but I get really annoyed, when I'm having a conversation with someone

online / via text,

and all they reply is one word,

and expect a response from me.

I guess a real word would still be fine,

but seriously, replying ' Haha ', and then expect me to say something to that?

Yeah.... how about no?

( Soooo much resentment, *smacks forehead* )

Hahaha.

I need to vent, too bad! :p

I love people I can be myself around though.

Say whatever I want to say, no restrictions.

Be the usual talkativebutohsoveryweirdandcrazy self that I am,

and someone I can actually have a decent conversation with.

Conversations that go further than the typical

' So, what are you doing? '

You know what I mean?

But at the same time,

I think you know when you're really good friends with someone,

when, for instance, you both are sitting in a restaurant,

lost in thought,

or just not having anything to say to each other,

and it's fine,

it isn't awkward at all.

You just sit there, in silence.

And it's okay.

Cause you know how sometimes, you're just getting to know someone

and the two of you end up eating alone somewhere,

and the conversation just comes to a standstill,

and you both just sit there,

thinking about how bloody awkward it is,

but not saying anything about it at the same time.

Yeah? I hate it when that happens.

Doesn't happen very often anymore though,

I usually end up saying something really stupid.

Like

' Oh wow, it's already 5 o clock, who knew '

.......... at least it's something, right?

Hahahahahaha.

Another random fact :

You know how I'm always rambling,

and talking about how I love talking to people,

and having a conversation with someone,

getting to know someone?

Well,

I almost never make the first move, in any sense.

Like texting for example,

Yeah, if you text me asking me what I'm up to,

I will reply, gladly,

and I would probably be really happy you texted me,

but I almost never,

send that first text myself.

I don't mean I don't send people text messages at all,

I do,

when I have questions that need to be answered,

or when I'm bored and I text a really good friend,

what I mean is,

taking that first step,

to actually send a message,

like

' Hi! What you up to? '

Cause I'm afraid I wouldn't get a reply,

or that person wouldn't want to talk to me.

Yes I know it's really silly,

I'm 19 already,

it's about time I grow up

& snap out of it right?!

Hahahhaha

If it's any consolation,

I'm ALOT better now than I was.

I do text people first sometimes

( Very rarely, but it happens okay :p )

I guess I think too much about... everything

Blame the sleepless nights!

Nights very much like, tonight.

At least tonight I'm writing my thoughts down,

which I'm probably gon' wake up in the morning & regret,

but oh well,

I live in the present.

Hhahahahaha.

That was so lame.

My hair smells like smoke :/

This is what happens when I go to mamaks at night,

Hahahhahahaha.

I have never tried a cigarette in my life, btw.

And I kinda don't plan on trying one.

( Don't get me wrong, I really don't have anything against smokers,

I just don't like the idea of ME smoking, anyone else is fine :p

hahahahaha )

Oh,

I was sitting in Statistics class the other day,

and I had to cover my ears a couple of times

when my lecturer was dusting the whiteboard,

because I can't stand the sound!

Like of nails on a blackboard,

or even chalk,

orrrr screeching, of any sense,

it gives me.. goosebumps,

and not the good kind.

( Even typing that out was so hard for me,

cause I was imagining the sound in my head! )

Hahahaha.

Moving on,

I love how my group of friends in college love hugs!

Because I love hugs!

We were labelled the ' motherhuggers ' , ( get it get it? )

because ... we hug a little too much.

Hahhaha, haters.

I hate one shoulder hugs though,

like when you lean in to hug someone,

and one hand comes up,

and the person moves to the side.

Cmon people, that's NOT a real hug!

( I do it too though, to someone I don't really like, heh, yes, hypocrite I am! )

I love hugs from behind though,

someone randomly comin' up behind you, and hugging you from the waist,

hahaha, oh god, such a weird child I am.

Oh oh oh.

Kyian Keith Kumar,

said the other day, that if he was my boyfriend,

he would be bored.

Hhahahahahaha.

Cause we were in the car,

and he was poking my arm, alot,

and I literally didn't say, or do anything.

It was like I was immune to the pokes or something,

but still, twas mean!

He's forgiven though,

he bought mentos & put it in his car, before our long journey,

cause he knew I loved mentos.

How sweet is that? :)

Anyway, KKK is one of my closest friends,

and he means so much to me!

So I'm gon' be dedicating a post to him real soon!

I feel bad that there are literally no pictures of him on this blog,

it's just... not right!

So one post is so necessary! :)

Also,

I'm beginning to resent the fact that I'm so indecisive.

It's really not working out for me very well.

I find it so hard to make decisions,

and I keep changing my mind.

From something so unimportant,

like what should I order, or where should we eat,

to a decision that could literally change my life,

like which friggin continent to transfer to,

AND WHEN?

Oh well, good news is,

I think I've decided,

US, and not anytime soon!

I'm gon' be stuck in Malaysia for a long timee.

( I say ' stuck ' , with so much love, trust me! I'm actually really happy )

Don't be surprised if I change my mind,

and end up transferring to Australia, or the UK, or something.

I wrote on this blog I was going to Taylors for sure ( registered & all ) ,

and look where I am & have been for over a year now,

HELP.

So yeah, I really.......really, can't make decisions,

or stick to them.

Anyway,

I was going through a few old pictures,

mostly from last year / 2 years ago,

so I have decided to post up a few,

cause I hate my blog posts having no pictures,

I really don't know why.

So here goes! :

( Yes, I am aware of the fact that I look different, somehow )